more signs of growing up?

Aspects of the internet are starting to bother me. The internet is starting to bug me. Mostly though I've come to realize how selfish of a thing it is-egocentric, idolizing, etc. Right now pictures are bothering me. Yes, pictures. but of people. caps aren't all coming out. oh well. recently i went to a site for a band(not the official site) and there were loads of pictures of them. and of coarse there were a lot of the lead singer. i looked, but then it started to feel awkward. stalkerish? worshipish? idolish? what are you supposed to do with these pics? look quickly? stare? maybe i care too much. i love the internet for this reason, i love to read what people are thinking of or/and want to get other people to think about. it challenges me to bother writing about something more meaningful.

haven't been here for a while. went to SD for a weekend with a friend. this friend to me has changed, i have seen her in a different light than i did before a simple trip with her. black hills are BEAUTIFUL. i see these trees differently than the iowa and north carolina trees. they are more massive than nc, sacred land, and majestic. God's glory and paint brush. 

on another note, my old boyfriend-not calling him ex, that sounds so harsh-was held at gun-point on Sunday night. the sickos took his car, money, phone, and other things. when i first read it i was so shocked, frozen. but almost instantly i felt peace. knowing God's hand was there and that His spirit was in me keeping check. this isn't a means to make me feel sorry for the break-up or moving back home. that still feels right. whether or not that feels right to my mom, i need to not care about anymore. it's difficult to picture A going through that, to see a gun in his face, see him getting hit with it. God was there, is there. Evil does not win. in any case.