today doesn't seem to offer much for writing. last night was really good sitting with family and talking. i LOVE hearing honest thoughts about some one's relationship with God-with Him through scripture especially. i just hate that feeling of we HAVE to read the Bible because we suck if we don't. how about hearing it's another way of getting closer to His heart beat, His story, our story, and so much more. but i think a lot of that pressure comes from myself. i just need to be quiet for a few minutes and let those thoughts be stopped by His tenderness. my favorite thing to do is sit with good coffee and my Bible and my journal and just spend time. with Him. the Author.

one of the larger reasons for leaving was because my other major relationship wasn't celebrated and was almost rejected. only a few said congrats or good job. hm. why is that? my heart aches for people who may miss out on the joy that i experience every day. God is my Captain. He directs this ship and so directs my love life. and to think i could have missed out on this because of a preference. on me banking on people instead of Christ. where else would something so amazing and wonderful and joyous come from? when everything is good, does that come from me? i don't hesitate to say no. only Him. so why is that so bad?